30 July 2011

Expectations

Worry, frustration, fear, sadness, and rejection, all words of ones expectations, felt tangibly in ones heart and soul.

Some friends left on a cross country move last week. They said they'd keep in touch, it was a promise. No calls, nothing. Should I be worried? Sad? Fearful? I feel all of that and then some. But how to express it without seeming churlish?

I didn't want to anticipate those brief calls this week, but I did ... anticipate.  In some ways, I wanted to to share their journey ... to re-live, remember where I had been in the past, through their words, their eyes, a fresh perspective of what is different, so I can remember too. Nothing is lost except the joy of hearing their voices, knowing they are safe and have arrived where they should be.

I don't quite understand why I feel this way. I really thought I'd hear from them during their journey. What did I expect? Updates?  Did I assume something that was not there? I don't have the answers, but somehow I feel ... I don't know ... left out, abandoned ... and/or did I truly know (in my heart) I would not hear from them again as they drove out of the driveway last Sunday morning? I do miss them.

2 comments:

  1. Peg -- expectations cause a lot of heartbreak. Your friends likely aren't meaning to hurt you, they are just caught up in the stress and excitement of their own adventure. They probably have no idea how much sharing it would have meant to you.

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  2. I agree with Quilly, However, that doesn't diminish your feelings of loss and loneliness. I know you are hurt. I hope they call soon and put your mind at ease.

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