30 July 2011

Expectations

Worry, frustration, fear, sadness, and rejection, all words of ones expectations, felt tangibly in ones heart and soul.

Some friends left on a cross country move last week. They said they'd keep in touch, it was a promise. No calls, nothing. Should I be worried? Sad? Fearful? I feel all of that and then some. But how to express it without seeming churlish?

I didn't want to anticipate those brief calls this week, but I did ... anticipate.  In some ways, I wanted to to share their journey ... to re-live, remember where I had been in the past, through their words, their eyes, a fresh perspective of what is different, so I can remember too. Nothing is lost except the joy of hearing their voices, knowing they are safe and have arrived where they should be.

I don't quite understand why I feel this way. I really thought I'd hear from them during their journey. What did I expect? Updates?  Did I assume something that was not there? I don't have the answers, but somehow I feel ... I don't know ... left out, abandoned ... and/or did I truly know (in my heart) I would not hear from them again as they drove out of the driveway last Sunday morning? I do miss them.