24 March 2011

Mountains out of molehills?

'An unexpected visit from a gloomy or depressed person might have you feeling a little disconcerted, Virgo. Don't try to be too cheerful. It's more important to be a good listener. You might also be a bit on edge and jump at sudden noises. Take care not to read too much into it. This oversensitivity is only temporary and should pass within a few days.' Astrocenter horoscopes 3.24.2011

I think I'm that gloomy (or) depressed person? Yup, I might be correct about that. You see, I'm trying to go back to work full time maybe(??) as an over the road truck driver....

I worry too much, too. I have been under a doctors care since January 2010 for what has been repeatedly touted as an 'unspecified blood disorder'. (More on this in a minute)

Okay, so many, many tests later, a year has passed, lot of things have happened including spending time in the hospital having a splenectomy. Nothing, and I mean nothing has ever been said about Leukemia! (I'll get back to this, too.)

So, let me explain... I was visiting the site of a large trucking company (I was considering)... I read some 'orientation' information which would require me (if hired) to furnish a document explaining if I had been under a doctors care anytime in the last five years. I'm assuming something along the lines of 'return to work'.

Being the up front/honest sort of person that I am ... I thought .... I should have this little wrinkle covered just in case of. So I wrote letters to my doctors (two of them) requesting a letter in return (generic of course, to whom it may concern kind of thing) stating I'd been under their care and have recovered sufficiently to return to work without limitations in my duties.

I didn't figure it was going to be any big deal as the last visit to each of these doctors resulted in a question concerning this very issue. 'Returning to work full time.' At the time I didn't think I would be considering going over the road again, so when the question came up I said I would call or write if the document became necessary as a condition of employment. Each doctor made the necessary notations in my file.

Okay, so the letters written, a call from the doctors office asking a couple of questions which I didn't think unsual, they're pretty good about asking questions, and the letter would be in the mail to me the first part of the week. I received it yesterday, the letter that is.....

I get that it's a form letter, I didn't expect anything different, but what did floor me was the diagnosis (which by the way is optional) Leukemia! The word jumped off the page at me! What? Huh? When did the diagnosis become Leukemia? Was I asleep or something? Did I miss something in all the doctors reports, test/lab results and medical records?

In all the months, all the doctors visits; primary, oncologist, hematology specialist, testing everything.... the word has never been used, always been clearly notated as 'unspecified blood disorder'. Polyclonal Hypergammaglobulinemia maybe? But not Leukemia! There has never been a clear diagnosis.

Someone hasn't realized (or doesn't realize) what I do for work is drive a 'big rig', an eighteen wheeler! The average person doesn't understand when somone like me says... I hold a Class A Commercial Drivers License (CDL A) ... what having that license entails. They kind of look at you with that 'deer in the headlights look', and nod their heads as if they understand.

Over the road, local, regional it doesn't matter what kind of driving I'm going to do. I'm required by law (by Federal Motor Carrier Regulations) to be medically reviewed every two years. In this instance, this was information I read on a company website requiring ... a medical release (or explanation of illness or something) if under a doctors care anytime in the last five years.

I was already having an issue getting hired at an over the road company (but that's another post). A diagnosis of Leukemia will effectively put a stop to driving over the road, locally or regionally! I could loose my CDL over this kind of thing. This, this (sputter, sputter, I'm without words here...) WOW! This puts a whole new twist on everything ...

Do I or do I not have Leukemia? When were you going to tell me? I'm the patient here! I don't have Alzheimer's and I'm proactive/involved when it comes to my health care issues and options. I'll bet someone made a mistake. Yup thats what it is ... someone looked up the incorrect info. (optimistic) I'd really like to think that, but ... I have my doubts (pessimistic). Doctors don't make mistakes, do they? Of course they do, but that's not the issue here. I'll get it squared away in a few days ... one way or the other.